Saturday, May 30, 2009

Blog Fodder?

I love my internet customer service chats... they make great blog fodder...

heres what happens when you try to get a deal with Charter communications...

Chat Information
Please wait for a site operator to respond.
Chat InformationYou are now chatting with 'Larry'
Larry: Hello.
Larry: Welcome. How can I help you today?
you: actually we have an account and ned to change it
you: possibly*
Larry: I will be happy to assist you.
you: see the bundles for internet and tv.. whats the price AFTER 6 months
Larry: What services do you currently have?
you: cable
Larry: How many digital boxes do you currently have?
you: one, maybe 2
you: just one
Larry: May i have your home address please?
you: sorry its my grandothers house, a bit cluttered,
Larry: No problem. What is the address?
you: one sec
you: 123main st anywhere, bla bla
Larry: And the zip code please?
you: 00001 (<-- like a binary solo)
Larry: Well, we wouldn't be able to get you the 74.98 offer, but we do have a promotion on hi speed internet for you.
Larry: Charter High-Speed Internet $24.99 per month for 6 months
Larry: An additional $10 monthly charge will apply for customers who only subscribe to Charter High-Speed® Internet service.
Larry: High-Speed Internet
Larry: Included Features and Promotions:
Larry: $100 Cash Back
Larry: Get a FREE Motorola® Cable Modem
Larry: No Contract

Larry: Would you like to take advantage? I just need your name, phone #, and email address if you would like to get started.
you: no it doesnt make sense unless its bundled
you: how come it cant be bundled
you: and ho much after 6 months
you: casue we are paing a riduclus amount now, that seems very unfair
Larry: 44.95 for the internet after the 6 months -
Larry: Are you looking for an option to reduce your cable pricing? Or are you looking to upgrade with internet.
you: so with an already 80 dollar cable bill that would be outragous pricing
you: BOTH
Larry: Bundled offers are only for new customers. We would have to leave your cable t.v. alone.
you: it seems if i sign up now ill be rewarded, but for being a loyal customer i get nothing
Larry: You are saving a lot of money with the 24.99 offer. Are you sure you don't want to take advantage?
you: in fact it seems im on an ld pricing tier that had een forgotten to be updaed as we have no majot channles but get charged almost 2X the amount of satelite..
you: and you are aware FIOS is coming to the nieghborhodd soon? withmuch better offers and 2 year price guarantees
Larry: Well, i should inform you that we offer a service that is more beneficial than satellite, with more capabilities.
Larry: Please contact customer service directly at 888 438 2427 for options to reduce your cable billing.
Larry: Also, Fios service experiences a lot of problems.
you: what problesm are fios havng?
Larry: First off, Fios Does not have as extensive variety of On Demand services.
Larry: Also, you need a box on each TV to get anything above the most basic of local channels.
you: just like didigital cable
Larry: 1 year contract minimum with Fios. This is not good.
Larry: No, With Charter, we do not require a digital box for each t.v.
you: to get digital channels you do, so the comparassion is apples and oranges
Larry: Also, with installation of Fios phone service, customers are unable to revert back to traditional phone major installation issues. Sometimes it is impossible.
you: i dont use traditional phone services
Larry: I assure you, our service will work better than satellite dish and Fios.
Larry: Please contact customer service directly at 888 438 2427 for options to reduce your cable billing.
Larry: If you want the 24.99 internet promotion, you can visit back at this website.
Larry: Is there anything else I can help you with today?
you: ok i will jump thru the hoops to try and discount my price

Thursday, May 28, 2009

OHHHHHH, DISH How I once loved thee....

So here is an example of exactly why I recently left Dish Network. I had been with them for the past 7 years and up until late 2008, was EXTREMELY happy with them. But it seemed as the economy turned rules that has apparently always been there and never enforced became a huge focus and red tape and the most ridiculous catch-22s became what a loyal Dish customer had to deal with.

After giving Dish almost every chance to make up for their short comings and match the price i was getting from the competitor. they fell short as anything they offered meant a 2year commitment with only a 1 year price guarantee or discount. So that combined with the above mentioned grumblings of their customer service, it was time to leave. Like many TV service providers, you lease the equipment and when your done they want it back. So here come the boxes and return labels...

BUT I have 3 set top boxes yet only received 2 return labels and packing materials... oh what to do... so I call, and frustration ensues...

Please wait while we find a representative to assist you...

You have been connected to (23-12-3) Joanne C..

(23-12-3) Joanne C.: Thank you for being a valued DISH Network customer, I will be happy to assist you today. Please give me 2-3 minutes to access your account and review the information you have already provided.

(23-12-3) Joanne C.: I understand you are returning equipment and want to know if some of the equipment is purchased by you?

Joe Blow: well I have 3 boxes to return, I only received 2 shipping boxes from your support center

(23-12-3) Joanne C.: For account security, would you please verify your zip code for me?

Joe Blow: EDIT

(23-12-3) Joanne C.: Thank you. I show that the two 522 DuoDvr receivers are leased and need to be returned.

Joe Blow: are there serial numbers so I return the correct one, I have 3 receivers it appears I own that one...

(23-12-3) Joanne C.: The are standard definition and both go to two TV’s. So you would have 4 remotes that also need to be returned.

(23-12-3) Joanne C.: Sorry. They are standard definition and both go to two TV’s. So you would have 4 remotes that also need to be returned.

Joe Blow: so the HD receiver does not need to be returned?

Joe Blow: that doesn’t sound right

(23-12-3) Joanne C.: Please give me 2-3 minutes to research this.

(23-12-3) Joanne C.: I show that you upgraded to the HD receiver that needs to be returned also.

(23-12-3) Joanne C.: So all three need to be returned.

Joe Blow: ok no problem. Is there a center I can just drop them off instead?

(23-12-3) Joanne C.: Unfortunately, we don't have any centers in your area.

(23-12-3) Joanne C.: You can use a bigger box if you have one available to send them back.

Joe Blow: ok then I will need an additional shipping box sent to me for the 3rd receiver

(23-12-3) Joanne C.: I can request one to be sent. It can take up to 7-14 business days.

(23-12-3) Joanne C.: If you have a box that will fit two of the receivers you can use that.

Joe Blow: well can you note the account so I do not get charged for this

Joe Blow: I will look for a box but not sure I can get one

(23-12-3) Joanne C.: I can note the account, unfortunately that won't stop any charges.

Joe Blow: so... i am honest enough to bring this up, Dish Networks mistake, but I will still be charged, and you can’t provide a drop off option... I can’t see how that’s fair...

(23-12-3) Joanne C.: You can drop them off at any UPS drop off station.

Joe Blow: but it appears your asking me to buy a box for them

(23-12-3) Joanne C.: You can use any box that will fit both receivers.

Joe Blow: this type of service (which is 180 degrees from what it was before) is why I left Dish Network

(23-12-3) Joanne C.: I apologize for any inconvenience.

(23-12-3) Joanne C.: I have requested a box to be sent.

Joe Blow: ok well ill do what I have to, to get the receivers back to you. And your absolutely sure that I owe 2 522 DuoDVRs and one VIP722?

(23-12-3) Joanne C.: Correct.

Joe Blow: ok

(23-12-3) Joanne C.: Is there anything else that I can assist you with?

Joe Blow: I will send them out... no that’s all I needed to hear.

Are you picking up what I'm putting down , Internets? FRUSTRATING...

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Monday, May 18, 2009

Gay Home PRide Bread

Sent at 1:45 PM on Monday
Scott: that your connection
me: :)
Scott: damn youporn here i....
ill leave it there
Sent at 1:50 PM on Monday
Scott: well with that bandwith you could get the radio show up again with a webcam
me: easily
problem is everyone wants to do it from thier house..
which im cool with except the bandwidth now is defintely here
Scott: well if you have the connection i think that its your call
me: same probs as before... oh and now erin is pregnant
Sent at 1:55 PM on Monday
Scott: you breaders
me: that makes you sound gay
Scott: i stoped caring
me: or a webers white bread fan.. not sure which
Scott: typo
me: maybe wonderbread?
Scott: mmmm wonder bread in a ball
me: ..thinkgs you can do to a split topo home pride loaf
Scott: take like 5 slices pull the crust off put a glob of peanutbutter in the middle fold slice around
then layer more peanutbutter and attach slices to the side squeezing all the time
Sent at 2:00 PM on Monday
Scott: you wind up with a ball of layered goodness that is like a pellet
me: and then do it with medicated PB...
and get some strawberry jam dipping sauce
Scott: it manages my stree
me: yeh im copying and pasting this convo
posting it in the web some place
Scott: blackberry jam in between the layers of butter and peanutbutter
great I am a non reproducing bread lover that can be interpreted in so many different ways.